Winter Music Conference is a trying moment for the city of Miami because seventy five percent of the tourists in town are tripping balls and totally need some water or something bro. I set out over the last several days to actively avoid this crap. Here are my thoughts and ruminations: These people are weird and drastically void of self awareness. Each set list on the ubiquitous club poster has so many names that it’s confusing to wade through. I am not on the cutting edge of nightclub electronica, but I don’t know ANY of these people. Everyone walking around town seems British. I write a music column on the internet and don’t give a smegma. The thing about Winter Music Conference is that it’s all about club drugs. Learned about “mali” this week. Apparently it’s a really intense form of ecstasy and dangerous for people who are prone to lockjaw. Like jaundice. Anyway Mali is no longer JUST a country in western Africa. Ohh there ARE a lot of British people here. Boom chicka boom chicka doo doo doo DOO DOO DOO DOODOODOODOODOODOODOODOODOO PEEEEEEEWSCHHHHHHH!!!! Fake DJ names: DJ Vaguely Japanese. DJ Wet Matches. DJ Flog. DJ Purple Drank. DJ Bond James [...]
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