I hate controversy. Really, really hate it. I don’t want to think about how many illegitimate children I’ve brought into this world simply to avoid an uncomfortable conversation about taking a relationship to the “next step.” I say this only so that you will understand the dread with which I am approaching this week’s theme at theavantguardian.org: hats. Hats, as in headscarves, veils and burqas. So if you’re anything like me, hold your nose, we’re about to go in … and this is bound to get controversial. Let’s start with the headlines, like this one, from England: “Jewellers robbed by thief in burka.” (Query whether the Brits’ inability to spell is charming, like their accents, or off-putting, like their teeth?) Or this one, from Australia, which is like England, except it started as a penal colony — and has only gotten worse since: “Armed robbery in burqa leads to call for ban.” To the unenlightened reader of such headlines, it might seem like the burqa is little more than a glorified ski mask. When considered in this light, I’d no more oppose a ban on burqas than I would oppose a ban on live rattlesnakes in mattresses. Problem is, there

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