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dogface boy \/\/ ……in case you were wondering.

November 20, 2009
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dogface boy \/\/ ……in case you were wondering.

.. . Antony Hegardy o Is the reason ghosts love the rain. “The Lake” Edgar Allen Poe Reinterpreted by Antony Hegardy In youth’s spring, it was my lot To haunt of the wide earth a spot To which I could not love the less So lovely was the loneliness Of a wild lake, with black rock bound And the tall trees that towered around But when the night had thrown her pall Upon that spot as upon all And the wind would pass me by In it’s stilly melody My infant spirit would awake To the terror of the lone lake My infant spirit would awake To the terror of the lone lake Yet that terror was not fright But a tremulous delight And a feeling undefined Springing from a darkened mind Death was in that poisoned wave And in it’s gulf a fitting grave For him who thence could solace bring To his dark imagining Whose wildering though could even make An Eden of that dim lake But when the night had thrown her pall Upon that spot as upon all And the wind would pass me by In it’s stilly melody My infant spirit would awake To the

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the happy phantom doesn’t need an umbrella

November 19, 2009
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the happy phantom doesn’t need an umbrella

the happy phantom is not like most ghosts, she loves to sun bathe, dance under the sky, and even take off her garments for a dip in the water. “So if I die today I’ll be the happy phantom And I’ll go wearin’ my naughties like a jewel They’ll be my ticket to the universal opera There’s Judy Garland taking Buddha by the hand And then these seven little men get up to dance They say Confucius does his crossword with a pen I’m still an angel to a girl who hates to sin Oo who… Or will I see you dear and wish I could come back You found a girl that you could truly love again Will you still call for me when she falls asleep Or do we soon forget the things we cannot see Oo who… ” -Tori Amos

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dogface boy \/\/ huff-n-snuff

November 13, 2009
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WARM CAR PAINT & WINTERGREEN Mixed messages are a favorite way that abusers control the abused. By putting the abused into a difficult situation, the abuser determines the agenda. Don’t let people get away with giving you mixed messages. Make them be clear and direct. Contradictory or conflicting messages, when coupled with something one is supposed to do, put a person in a ‘double bind’.

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the vines and the trash of life

November 5, 2009
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the vines and the trash of life

Now you’re gone, and it’s hotels and whiskey and sad-luck dames And I don’t care if they miss me, I never remember their names They say if you get far enough away, you’ll be on your way back home Well, I’m at the station, and I can’t get on the train Must be blind love, only kind of love is stone blind love Blind love, the only kind of love is stone blind love With your blind love, oh it’s blind love, stone blind love It’s your stone blind love -tom waits ps- it all goes to shit in the end. Eat a cucumber, make it tangy. it\’s over

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dogface boy \/\/ don’t die…self mummify!

October 30, 2009
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dogface boy \/\/ don’t die…self mummify!

DON’T DIE SELF-MUMMIFY! 5 EASY STEPS TO IMMORTALIZATION You’re just wasting time here. You could be so much more productive in the afterlife! Three dozen Buddhist monks can’t be wrong. Step 1     Preparation Set aside 2000 days for your transition. This is a “slowly, but surely” process. Inform family and friends of your new decision. Ask them for help, you will be pleasantly surprised when you see just how many people will support your new direction in life. Be sure to sit down with your boss! Let him or her know that you will be taking a leave of absence and you hope they will consider having you back after your  personal matters are attended to. This is just in the rare case that it doesn’t work….There’s nothing worse than wasting 2 plus years of your time only to end up really hungry and without a job. Step 2       The South Beach Diet Remove ALL fat from your body. (No cutting!) A friend recommends  “Beyonce’s Master Cleanse Diet ” and a couple of nuts and seeds here and there. This will take time, maybe 1000 days, but remember: no pain no gain. At this point you should stop, step back, and reconsider. Why do

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it’s a sight to behold and someone must survive

October 28, 2009
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it’s a sight to behold and someone must survive

“But darkness will come, but darkness will come For sure, it’s gonna come And the breast on her chest is where I take my rest Is where I have my fun, is where I have my fun And one long red nail that shoots from her toe Is tickling my blood and shifting its flow And each strand of her hair is really insect eyes” -Devendra Banhart sight to behold

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dahranjelo’s digest \/\/ pukpuk never made it out alive

October 26, 2009
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dahranjelo’s digest \/\/ pukpuk never made it out alive

PUKPUK, Peru Punks, Stargazers, Disco Geishas and Space Angels. We are living in the future that Walter van Beirendonck  kissed over 16 years ago.  The Wild & Lethal Trash site with PUKPUK had my attention for hours that turned to days. What was I doing spending so much time at his site? Playing his video game Space Race. Turn ON the monitor and twist the dial. It’s not  easy fashion but  there is technique or something more abstract. This bear and Antwerp design genius continues and will always be followed. Walter is one of the Belgian Antwerp Six comprised of Dirk van Saene, Dries van Noten, Ann Demeulemeester, Marina Yee, and Dirk Bikkembergs, who all graduated from the Royal Arts Academy from 1980-82. He used fabrics developed by the very latest technologies in violently contrasting colors. He produced clothes that were full of erotic and sadomasochistic references, touched with a caustic adolescent humor. His highly confrontational approach relates to a resurgence of anti-fashion, but this time an anti-fashion with nothing in the least orientalist in its origins, instead based on science fiction that inspired displays of high-spirited provocation. SEX ME UP WITH YOUR PHALLUS HELMUT AESTHETIC TERRORISTS FASHION AT THE

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no one here gets out alive

October 26, 2009
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no one here gets out alive

Italian Proverb: When the game is over, the king and the pawn go into the same box.

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daily routines \/\/ or, how to live

April 28, 2009
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daily routines \/\/ or, how to live

okay, well forgive my recent absence, cherished purveyors of the avant garde, but i have been waist high in you know what. well, even if you don’t know, just forgive me.  i’ve always felt like i could become the person i want to be by mimicking the habits of those i admire. sometimes, though, the lifestyles of the talented and genius aren’t that easy to peek into. i’m not talking about knowing what britney eats for breakfast. i want to know how people like haruki murakami organize their lives. and i found out at daily routines, a blog that is literally just a list of the daily habits of famous artists. like the singular simone de beauvoir. here’s an exerpt of ms. beauvoir’s daily routine: INTERVIEWER People say that you have great self-discipline and that you never let a day go by without working. At what time do you start? DE BEAUVOIR I’m always in a hurry to get going, though in general I dislike starting the day. I first have tea and then, at about ten o’clock, I get under way and work until one. Then I see my friends and after that, at five o’clock, I go back

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The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow: The Return of the Avant Guardian

January 3, 2009
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The Avant Guardian has been on a heady and complicated whirlwind tour of the East Coast and Mid-Atlantic regions, and has been unable to post regularly due to excuses that range from poor internet connections to family drama. I’m sure you understand. But, you can expect that more wide-ranging coverage of everything beautiful and bizarre will ensue post haste. Wait for it. Until then, waste your time writing us poems with the poem generator. Send us your best at theavantguardian@theavantguardian.org.

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