Special today! Each one of my fingers! Check the low low prices below!
commodities
breaking booze\/\/four loko like a man
I always knew you were a bitch, Massachusetts. With your stupid and difficult to spell state name, your arrogant universities, and your annoying sports fans, I can't believe I didn't see THIS coming.
three little birds pitch by my doorstep
Fall begins the migration of birds, from both the mammalia and aves classes. The main difference between the two is: the prior creates obnoxious traffic and overcrowding in restaurants and the latter creates the annoyance of increased need for car washes. But on the other hand it, can be what’s for dinner. I work in an office with full length glass windows on three sides. Poor little birds haven’t evolved enough to recognize the difference between glass and open sky. Well, some mammals haven’t quite figured this out either. So, rather than let these little winged creatures die in vain I think the best plan is to collect the fallen creatures in the freezer until you have enough for a little feast. I think the best bet would be to remove all of the plumage and clean the bird before freezing. If you are the “think ahead” type you may even start early and collect enough for a thanksgiving feast! Everyone can carve their own bird, that would be so much fun! I was going to give a demonstration on how to clean a freshly fallen bird but in the effort of keeping appetites intact I have decided otherwise. Instead, meet [...]
chili today, hot tamale
In the matters of love and food, heart can only be served two ways . Fluffy, sweet, heart shaped pancakes or spit fire roasted heart on a hot metal skewer. Of course there are shades of gray in between: take for example burnt fluffy pancakes or sweet teriyaki glazed hearts on a skewer. That said, keep in mind that those are just disguises. Of all the bizarre things I have eaten, heart is one I just don’t have the heart to eat. I’m not saying I haven’t eaten it, just that I’d prefer not to do it again. It is the source of our being, our motor, the source of our love and emotion and the place where our loved ones go when they leave… right? That’s what I remember being told. Either way, cooking takes heart! Food made with heart or love or whatever you want to call it, tastes better. You can never have too much heart. It’s a lot like cowbell in that way. In honor of the impending fall weather and the coolest (84°) daytime weather Miami has seen in months, I give you the heartiest heartwarming chili. Hearty Heart on Fire Chili 1 1/2 lbs. ground beef 1 [...]
don’t cry, it’s still alive
Every now and again I take a bite of something and my food worlds come crashing in around me. My perception of what is good and bad get all confused and everything I thought I knew gets razed to the ground and I start all over again. In the past 6 months this has happened to me twice with the same food. Frankly it’s starting to make me a little uneasy. Who doesn’t love sushi? These days you don’t even have to like it raw, you can have twice fried shrimp with fried asparagus all wrapped up in rice and fried again. I don’t recommend it, I’m just saying if you want it’s out there. But then along comes omakase and I can’t believe I was led astray for so long. I had no idea and honestly it makes me sad. I have been mourning, mourning and boycotting. But it’s no use, I am ruined. I can no longer enjoy a regular piece of sushi, the gummy nori wrapped tightly around cold gummy rice. Kinda makes me want to… On the other hand, I have been rescued from bad sushi and possible food poisoning forever. Not to mention, I can [...]
fashion fondue or fondon’t
Fa-fa-fa-fa fashion. Like everything else that is consumed by us humans, food follows trends. Flavors and ingredients come in and out of style, like hats and burqas. The seasons can impact this bringing new and fresh produce, or a craze like saving the Chilean Sea Bass or eating Gulf shrimp. Much to my delight crispy sweetbreads have been all the rage over the past year. I have seen them with a carrot-orange sauce, or just tossed on the grill with charred lemons. Just like a dress off the of the runway may seem intimidating at first, but give it a try and I think you will be convinced. Unfortunately, not everyone finds them so appealing. I’m sure 20 years from now, some one will wander upon my archived avant guardian post, click on the “carrot-orange sauce” link and no such item will be on the menu. Food is fashion, where and what you eat can be fashionable or not. So don’t get stuck in a food faux pas. Now, I love fondue, but today, it’s just not cool. I know it comes in and out and right now: it’s out. So, I’m going to go ahead and bring it back for you, just this [...]
celebration!
New beginnings are the best excuse for celebration. There are many great celebration foods, but nothing says celebration and new beginning like popping open a big bottle of bubbly. Sorry, Walter: I know this is usually your terrain, but I can’t think of a better way to ring in the new year, the fall harvest, my new haircut, your new job, his new lover, their new house or anyone else’s new beginning than an icy bottle of Taittinger! And no better way to start drinking than to shout it out. Celebration! And any way you choose to shout it is fine by me. To everyone’s new beginning this week no matter how big or small. Congrats, kanpai, salud, mazel tov, felicidades, Hō ta lah, cheers, l’chiam, chin-chin, skål, bravo, proost, stin iyá mas, ʻŌkole maluna, pozdravlaiu, sláinte agus táinte, gefeliciteerd. Here is a good snack in case the bubbles start to go to your head. Devils On Horseback (Make extra: these are really good.) Pitted dates Manchego cheese Pancetta or bacon Stuff the dates with a good hunk of Manchego, and wrap them in the pancetta. Bake. Voilà. Photo credit: Ruby Custin
i can’t seem to forget where i left my recipe
Many things around us can trigger memories. For some of you it will be a song, the sound of someone’s voice or a familiar perfume. My main sensory trigger is usually…come on, one guess. The smell and taste of food. Ahh, I’m getting hungry just thinking about it. There are dishes that bring me back to the happy years of childhood when I could go a whole summer surviving on grilled mozzarella- pepperoni sandwiches, and Ovaltine. Some dishes I am still trying to forget, Thanksgiving leftover smoosh, for example, brings me back to play dates where I would pray my mom could pick me up before dinner was served (sorry Lisa, you know I love you). No matter how much time goes by or how hard we try to forget, these triggers will always bring us back. When I’m away and feeling homesick I always know exactly what to cook to bring me into to my mom’s kitchen, my happy place. Every stage of preparing the meal brings a new memory of comfort and joy. It transports me directly to elementary school days when I would walk through the front door after school or soccer and within an instant I would [...]
nightmare on egg street
I had a nightmare the other night. I was making fried eggs, over medium. The slightly runny kind that leave a little yolk sauce behind, perfect for soaking up with buttered bread. In my dream I was eating the delicious eggs, enjoying them. All of the sudden, I became deathly ill. In the dream it wasn’t just me that became ill, hundreds of people everywhere where falling ill from runny eggs! Which brought to mind a favorite movie of mine, Like Water for Chocolate/ Como Agua Para Chocolate. The protagonist, Tita, has a profound connection with food. So deep that when she cries tears of sorrow for her one true-love, into her sister wedding cake, it has quite an effect on the wedding guests who enjoy it. I know it’s six minutes long and in Español but trust me, it’s a nightmare worth watching. I am begining to think that this romantic disorder could be real and not just a fictional, dramatic story. If sorrow and terror travel through this woman and her food, could they in fact travel through hens and their eggs to make us sick? Maybe it’s not salmonella infecting the eggs after all…. Who knows? Until we find out, stick [...]
fizzy water, coke, and soft shell crabs
Coca-cola-hiccups- bridge-of-sighs. Spaghetti-Coca-cola-gondola….perfect recipe for hiccups. I have a long-standing animosity for the hiccups and I am pretty sure I am not alone on this. There are some of us in this world who are diaphragm-challenged. The little spasms come and can last an hour, a day, or maybe even continue on and off for 5 or 6 days. Do you have any idea how terrible that feels? And nothing works, I’ve tried it all. Not even I have a successful recipe. This past week I have been very lucky to be traveling abroad. I have also been terribly saddened by learning that there is a widespread conspiracy against the Venetians. In Venice there is work being done around the ‘Bridge of Sighs’ and the ‘Doge Palace.’ As the sign says, the City of Venice cannot pay for the repairs so they have acquired a sponsor to help float the costs. In order for the sponsor to reap a fair amount of business, they have a permit to make the world’s biggest scrim and cover the scaffolding around the corner of the Palace and on the ends of the famous bridge. So they’ll be showing up in tourist slideshows all [...]
Recent Comments