Ever since the invention of angels, wearing things on one’s head has been a solid way of defining who one is in the overall scheme of things. Angels were invented, of course, by the Greek God Apollo, soon after Zeus and the other Olympians created the idea of a single “God” so that they could take some much needed vacations. Apollo thought he could use some helpers (flying ones at that) and to differentiate them from other winged people, he decided to give them glowing things on their heads. Yet even with depictions of haloed angels all around us, hats weren’t invented until one spring morning in 1542 in Venice, Italy by none other than Napoleon I. He was sitting in a bakery pondering how and when to try to take over the world, all the while absent-mindedly drawing a stick figure on a piece of paper and drinking his coffee. When at one point he lifted the coffee cup, he looked down and there was a ring of coffee atop the stick figure’s head, and the sheer possibilities of hats overtook him. He jumped up and darted outside to his carefully hidden time machine, which he’d stolen from a [...]
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