Blog Archives

we’ve moved to allography.com

December 1, 2010
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we’ve moved to allography.com

As of December 2010, we have moved to our new home over at www.allography.com Come join us.

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theavantguardian black friday special! or, the cost of each one of my fingers

November 25, 2010
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theavantguardian black friday special! or, the cost of each one of my fingers

Special today! Each one of my fingers! Check the low low prices below!

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on staying over at a friend’s place when they have a cat and you are allergic to cats

November 22, 2010
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on staying over at a friend’s place when they have a cat and you are allergic to cats

FUCK YOU CAT.

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this is how you lose your face to a polar bear

November 17, 2010
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this is how you lose your face to a polar bear

Jesus man. Are you f-ing nuts? Image via: The Daily Mail Thanks to Vicki for the tip.

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good grief | a brief exposition on the letter “g”

November 6, 2010
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good grief | a brief exposition on the letter “g”

“G” is a confusing letter to have to relate to for an internet post. My cellphone has 3 Gs, but fancier people’s have 4. Good AND gravy start with the letter “g”.

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theavantguardian mailbag, or “tagbag”, answers every question ever

September 10, 2010
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theavantguardian mailbag, or “tagbag”, answers every question ever

I'd like to know everyone's ideas about art, sex, revolution, and most importantly your dark inner secrets that you only tell your pillow. The great debate. Whatever that debate happens to be.

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i forgot to write anything this week

September 3, 2010
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this week on the avant guardian\/\/cinnamon

June 21, 2010
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cinnamon1

“Cinnamon. It should be on tables in restaurants along with salt and pepper. Anytime someone says, “Ooh, this is so good – what’s in this?” the answer invariably comes back, “cinnamon.” Cinnamon. Again and again.“ -Jerry Seinfeld “Tigers love pepper… they hate cinnamon.“ -Zack Galifianakis “I like cinnamon rolls. That’s why I wish they made, like, a cinnamon roll incense. ‘Cause I don’t always have time to make a pan. Perhaps I’d rather light a stick, and have my roommates wake up with false hopes.“ -Mitch Hedberg Image via: http://www.vuatkerala.org/

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blogpost on nothing

May 28, 2010
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blogpost on nothing

“I am here and there is nothing to say.“ -John Cage “Lecture on Nothing” ~~~~~~~ I am somewhere, and everyone has too much to say. Tune in next week for chicken flava ranting about the oil spill. Cause that’s what everyone needs. A loosely informed hack. In the meantime become fan of Chicken Flava on Facebook or you could even follow him around the Twitter. Have a happy Memorial Day people. Don’t drink too much Rolling Rock. OK drink too much Rolling Rock. Image credit: Ruby Quincunx

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tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow

May 21, 2010
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tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow

Time, time, time. The Cloudy Messenger. That which escapes all of us. Flash indeed. Most people no longer use a watch so the piece of music above, Leroy Anderson’s The Syncopated Clock (1944), sounds like a lulling relic of a playful time where brass was oiled, and tea came with DELICIOUS cookies. Push play. I could check my watch all day to that ish! Pops gave me a pocket watch for my birthday this year. A huge antique train conductor’s watch. It’s like having a metal ice cream sandwich in your pocket. Like the ones from camp that came six to a plastic clamshell. Good god I want one, it’s so hot outside. And there’s a huge chain on this watch that gives it the authority of a mace. Watch is legit. Not built for skinny jeans. It’s for those who REALLY need to know what time it is. I could have used that watch this past weekend when every mode of communication went to hell in one glossy-sleek-personal-hand-held-computing-basket. My friend Officer Mike, in an act of complete and utter lunacy, decided to run a 50 mile ultra marathon from mile marker 51 to mile marker 1 in the Florida Keys. It [...]

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