via chicagoist.com
2 cans Four Loko
Preparation: Chug two cans of Four Loko back to back. Smile as the buzz sets in.
I always knew you were a bitch, Massachusetts. With your stupid and difficult-to-spell state name, your arrogant universities, and your annoying sports fans, I can’t believe I didn’t see THIS coming. You banned Four Loko? What the fuck is wrong with you? It’s alcohol and caffeine in the same can. Genius.
Hold on. It’s been banned elsewhere? New York? Well shit a brick and fuck me with it. This is awful.
I don’t even want to know what other idiotic legislatures are trying to take this miracle juice off the shelves. It’ll just make me scream and curse more. Don’t they have anything better to do?
Wait a minute…I’ll just mix my vodka with Red Bull and achieve the exact same effect. Sorry Four Loko, apparently convenience is now illegal.
Teenagers getting hospitalized? This is what makes Walter Crunkite laugh.
And I’m pretty sure that’s the way it is.
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If “just one can contains 12% alcohol,” do two cans contain 24%?
If so, it’s not like wine. WHATEVER amount of wine you drink, it’s 12% alcohol.
If you’re stupid about math and you drink two Four Locos, are you still stupid after that?