the man makes the hat | a play in one scene

The Man Makes the Hat | A play in one scene
In memory of Karen Kilker

The stage is set as it was at the beginning of the last time.

THING 1

It takes a certain kind of person to wear a hat, don’t you think?

THING 2

I suppose that might be the case.  Do you ever fancy yourself a hat wearer?

THING 1

Oh, I would surely like to be! (pause) But upon further reflection I would have to say no. No, I do not consider myself a hat wearer.

THING 2

Where did that cadence come from?

THING 1

My walk?

THING 2

No, your voice.

THING 1

Ah, I see. I believe it has something to do with wanting to be a hat wearer.

THING 2

Ah, I see. I thought maybe you were a bit touched.

THING 1

How long have you known me?

THING 2

Long enough old friend, long enough.

THING 1

Ah, I see. (long pause). These things come in circles, don’t they? They come in halos and other ovular objects. Temple Grandin directs our steps making sure that we don’t worry and we don’t fret. It is, after all, a matter of fact that we’re all headed towards the slaughter house. If we can make that journey comfortable, our hearts will be beating in time when the bullet pierces our brain. And that’s all we can ask for, isn’t it? That’s all we can hope for, isn’t it?

THING 2

You sound worried. A bit worried.

THING 1

Well, what’s not to be worried about? The thing about an oval is that it implies what we all know to be true about circles and ergo, what we all know to be true about time and space. Circles pretend that they are what they are. The oval reminds us that at any moment the circle can collapse. Or expand.

THING 2

So it’s the future that you’re worried about?

THING 1

Would it be better were I worried about the past?

THING 2

Maybe not better, but definitely more practical. Your actions have no effect whatsoever on the future. There is no future, only one continual present. What is effected is the past. As the stories change, you change with them.

THING 1

You change with them?

THING 2

No, you change with them, not me. That would be absurd.

THING 1

So should I wear a hat or not?

THING 2

Is that what you’ve been getting at this whole time?

THING 1

I just wasn’t sure how to bring it up. A hat makes the man, right?

THING 2

I guess that’s one way to look at things, but do you really want to be a man? There are still so many other things that you could be. There are all sorts of ‘x’s and ‘y’s, 0s and 1s, and etceteras and etceteras, and etceteras and etceteras, and etceteras and etceteras that you could be. That you most definitely will be.

Lights dim. Spotlight comes up on the Butler.

THE BUTLER

And so ends this segment of the adventures of THING 1 and THING 2. One might say that we are better off for the questions they leave us with, questions that beg us to ponder the meaning of life, the university and everything, questions that remind us of the fragility of even the most stable institutions, and questions that on any other day might be of little import, but today, precisely because it is today, are bigger than any of us can imagine. But one might say a lot of things.

Image Credit: hubble

Tags: hats, memory, performance