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This past weekend I performed at the Patti Pace Performance Festival, in Statesboro Georgia.  Though I love to talk about my own performances, and probably will soon enough, what stood out for me at the festival was the last performance.  Rather than explain why it stood out to me, or what it was about, neither of which I have a decent answer for, I’ve compiled the following list of words and images that may give some insight to the performer’s madness.  The performer’s name is Amy Burt, and she is a communication scholar from Georgia College and State University.

1. The first thing to note is that Burt is hilarious.  She flows back and forth between a serious tone that draws us in and forces us to listen, and a comic tone that had me, at times, falling out of my seat.  Nearly, at least.
   

   This is not actually my prom picture. When I went to prom I wore a hawaiin shirt and a jacket with tails. These pictures remind me of my days of high school theatre. On dress like your favorite celebrity day, I dressed as Marilyn Manson from the Sweet Dreams video. My friend Julia pulled me home on a chain that day and we had to explain to the cop that stopped us what was going on. I think we said something to the effect that I was her pet. why lie?

2. None of the images seemed poignant for the longest time.  I wanted to find meaning in it, but she didn’t seem to offer any.  We just rolled along, like a roller coaster out of control.
   

   I was very unhappy with this photo. For some reason the Simpson self animator just doesn't do it for me. I find myself looking at what is supposed to be a cartoon version of myself, but it just doesn't work. In part, I think that this is a testament to Matt Groening's world, and in part, I think that it's just a shitty character generator. It would be nice if we could just say whatever we wanted to be and the computer would make that exact image. "I am the walrus," and poof, I am the walrus. whatever the heck that means. shut the fuck up Donnie!

3. About half-way through the performance, after the Thomas Kinkade image that frightened us all, bits began to emerge that revealed a very deep theoretical pool.  The pool was never revealed for more than a second, which made the performance that much more engaging and entertaining.
   

   seriously, y'all. what the heck is going on with this picture?! Why is every light in the house on!?! during broad daylight, nonetheless!!! Burt pointed this out in her show, and it kind of terrified me. Why do you need every light on? "Look Hansel and Gretel, all the lights are on, you should come in!" No friggin' way. Something evil is going on in that house. What the hell are you smoking Kinkade? Are the police in there investigating a murder? I have no idea, and I don't want to know. I'm getting the heck out of here.

4. The pool was deep.  It was filled with interpersonal relationships, ethics, and tragedy.
   

   I am an incredibly good looking person. It's true. But sometimes I feel like that's not enough. Or maybe it's too much. When you see me, you know that I'm an incredibly good looking person and you just think to yourself, "well, self, he's obviously aware of how good looking he is. He probably gets told it all the time, and he's probably a total douchebag because of it. come on kids, get away from the douchebag." I mean, is there a better explanation?

5. The end left us laughing and wondering what we could do to make someone’s suffering a little less.
   

   this is my favorite non-picture of me. the southpark avatar creator is surprisingly acurate. i guess we're not that hard to design! way to take the easy route, god. seriously, though, the ak-47 is my favorite part. it looks like i'm scratching my ear with it. be careful with that thing Avatar ari! sometimes i wish i was a cartoon. or immortal. or both. sometimes i'm glad i'm not and that soon enough i'll die. but most days i want to live forever.

6. I don’t know how this all happened, but it did, and the performance shook me, in the uncontrollable enjoyable fit kind of way.  It almost hurt to laugh, but not quite.

Tags: avatar, oprah, Patti Pace, simpsons, south park, thomas kinkade